Alvleesklierontsteking (Pancreatitis)
Boy, that was something. Got up Friday morning like every morning. Romée and Odile were with me. Had breakfast together and then they were off to school. I drank my coffee, ate a sandwich and then went to my attic to work. Around 10:30 a.m. I suddenly got a stomach ache, something that is not so exceptional to be honest. Sometimes I just have to lay down for half an hour and it's over. At first I was going to go to crossfit but it soon became clear that that probably wasn't a good idea. About noon I probably didn't eat anything. In the afternoon I started working again but around 4pm the pain became more and more unbearable. Normally we eat fries together on Friday evening but this time I had asked Romée and Odile to make croques themselves. After I went to get Odile in gymnastics it was better for a while actually. So I took a few bites of a croque. Then the pain became unbearable again. Went to bed.
I had already taken a valium because my tolerance for pain is not too high anymore. Anyway, that's what I think. At night, however, I got up to take another Valium along with a Temesta and a Nurofen because the pain was really unbearable. Fortunately in the morning it was better again, probably because I was sober again. Then I immediately called the doctor on duty. At 9 am we could go to Sint-Lucas. After some examination, at first glance there was nothing serious. Probably an ordinary stomach infection. I was reassured and thought it would go away. Things got a little better at home. Went to the pharmacy and store and then ate some yogurt. Watched a movie the rest of the morning. In the afternoon drank some soup and ate a sandwich. Romée left for Lou's birthday party and Odile went to Mélanie's store for a while because she was bored. The pain really started to become unbearable from 3 p.m. on. I no longer knew where to crawl from the pain. Cherry pit pillow didn't help, Dafalgan didn't help, a Diclofenac didn't help, lying down didn't help…. Only sitting hunched over helped a tiny bit. It was terrible. One of the most horrible pains I have experienced. It just didn't stop. There wasn't a single moment when it subsided a bit. With regular abdominal pain or cramps, you have moments like that when it's a little worse and then it recedes a little. This time it was constant.
Because of my past, I was tremendously afraid to go back to the doctor or emergency room. Afraid of having to have surgery. Afraid of having to sleep there. Panic fear. I almost didn't know if I would rather die there at home or drive to the hospital. Then thankfully I called back to the on-call service anyway. I was actually allowed to drive to St. Luke's almost immediately. Once there, the situation was apparently serious. The doctor immediately examined me again and then referred me to A&E. I am so grateful how quickly they helped me there. I was sitting down for less than 3 seconds and I was already allowed to go to the nurse in one of the stalls. I think I must have wept from 3pm until around 9pm. After a small examination I was taken to one of the emergency beds. There I quickly received an infusion with painkillers. Tramadol or something like that. It took another two hours but suddenly all the pain was gone and I could breathe again. Shit! What a pain. Indescribable.
An ultrasound and pet scan later, it was clear that I had pancreatitis. Acute pancreatitis. Nice. I haven't been drinking that much alcohol actually for the last few months and nothing at all for the last month. Except of course last Saturday a whole bottle of red wine and Tuesday on my birthday in Django also some alcohol…. Maybe you shouldn't do that huh, stop drinking so abruptly. I stayed in the emergency room until 1 am and then they took me to the gastrointestinal ward. There I was given an infusion of Tramadol, administered drop by drop. The following Sunday I slept a lot, exhausted from the pain of the day before. Romée and Odile and Mélanie also came by in the afternoon which was sooooooooooo good. Thx a lot!
We are now Tuesday and I may go home soon. Hopefully it won't take too long anymore. I actually get to go home as early as this morning. Doctor was here around 10am. But paperwork lol. The papers haven't arrived yet. Jesus Christ. That can take a long time. It's all computerized nowadays, but just getting papers in order somewhere… or push some buttons… maybe they work with our software program hahahahahaha. I immediately get anxious again then. Maybe I will soon get a stomach ache again and they will keep me here anyway….
We are now Wednesday and I am home. There are a lot of tears in my system. A lot of things came back up from 5.5 years ago. A lot of fear, a lot of sadness, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of helplessness…. What to think of this life…. It hasn't been easy. Not for anyone for sure. When you have acute pancreatitis, it doesn't matter how much money you have or what your life has been like.
Online, I looked up the spiritual significance of the pancreas. Apparently it is connected to your 3rd chakra. People who know me know that I may not believe in it too strongly. But. Choosing. Faith without evidence or reason without charm. Give me faith. Third chakra, then.
This energy center has to do with your personal power and identity. Here you develop a strong sense of self and learn to "stand in your power." If the third chakra is weak, your sense of power is built on insecurity and you relate from your ego.
https://kundaliniyogawageningen.nl/de-alvleesklier/
What else I read about it does come in.
Emotions associated with the pancreas (and spleen) have to do with: sadness, victimization, giving up, disappointment, fear of death and tendency toward self-destruction. Energetically, the pancreas has to do with the ability to allow sweetness into your life: love and gratitude. It is said that if your pancreas is weak you have difficulty receiving love and believing that you are worthy of love. If you can't allow love you can become bitter over time. You then feel like you are being skipped in life. Practice in gratitude can heal bitterness and help you allow sweetness into your life.
https://kundaliniyogawageningen.nl/de-alvleesklier/
That does come in given my past. I see it as a transformation, as a movement from that self-destruction to gratitude and sweetness. I don't see it as a lesson that life wants to teach me. More a part of the healing that is going on within me. The lesson I learned is that I was cared for. I was cared for. And instead of destroying myself at home I went to the hospital and was helped incredibly well there. And I am incredibly grateful for it. Next time I'm not going to be so scared. I allowed it too, the care. Letting myself be helped. Which was very important. So thank you to the emergency room of Sint-Lucas Ghent. Thank you to the emergency department of Sint-Lucas Gent. And thank you to the gastrointestinal department at Sint-Lucas Ghent.
As for the science of acute pancreatitis…. They did not find the cause in my case. It was not gallstones nor was I drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. I do take hydrocortisone since 2013 and since a few years back testogel. Now I do read online that extra testosterone does lead to pancreatitis. So I am going to discuss that with my endocrinologist at my next appointment though. My CFS story is not easy and often causes frustration. A specialist tells me to stop taking it, but that's not really an alternative for me. Do I have to go back to being sick all day again? But I'm going to see if I can do it with a minimum of hydrocortisone and testogel. After that album also build in some more rest and enjoy the sweetness of life a bit more. Eating fruit. Going for a walk in the sun. Having a tea in town. Reading a book. Slowing down. Going back on a trip.
Foods for the alveeta gland: avocado, alfalfa, potatoes, beets, carrots, olive oil, papaya, grapefruit, lemon, buckwheat, turmeric and kitcharee (mung beans with rice).
https://kundaliniyogawageningen.nl/de-alvleesklier/
Inflammation always indicates an intense emotional state of being, where anger and powerlessness predominate. The emotional burdens have become so great that you are stuck inside yourself. You feel at the mercy of circumstances and powerless to stand up for yourself and experience love.
https://www.wijsheid.nu/alvleesklier-en-diabetes-zoetigheid-leven/