Children

I was once in the S.M.A.K. That was the first and the last time. Mussel pots don't fascinate me. But there was one thing I thought was fantastic. There was a long line queuing to enter a door of a small round construction. Everyone who came outside signed or said it was fantastic, definitely worth joining. And so we sat down, full of excitement, patiently. When it was finally my turn, I went inside. You had to lie on your stomach, slowly move forward and then look into a round pit of one square (round) meter. There was nothing to see, absolutely nothing, really, seriously, nothing to see, nada, rien, queuing in front of an empty pit for at least half an hour. But when I got outside I was more than happy to participate. "It was fantastic!, unbelievable, wowwwwwwwwwww". I sometimes feel a bit the same way with children. It's pure bullying, telling people without children how fantastic it is. Children are the most profound thing that has happened in my life, and I have been through some. One day you think that you are gradually getting it right, your life, the next day, with a child, you think, shit too fuck, what have I done to myself. I would say, choose to have children, but is it ever really a choice? Much respect for people who have really made a choice. For me it was more like a meteorite crashing into the garden. I didn't find much choice. It was more of a biological thing. "Are we going to have a child?" "OK". I always dreamed of children, but it wasn't like we just wrote the pros and cons on a piece of paper and then made a well-considered decision. My eldest daughter is now 7 and my youngest is 4. My feelings are complex. Therefore a graph. That makes a lot clear. Visual and shit. Fortunately, that one percent makes all the difference. It's hard to explain what happens once you have children. I found a quote online from Jonathan Coulton that kind of describes what it is. A bit like becoming a vampire.

You ruined everything I was having a conversation with a friend who had recently become a parent, and she reminded me of something I had forgotten about since my daughter was born. She was describing this what-have-I-done feeling – I just got everything perfect in my life, and then I went and messed it all up by having a baby. I don't feel that way anymore, but the thought certainly crossed my mind a few times at the beginning. Eventually you just fall in love and forget about everything else, but it's not a very comfortable transition. I compare the process to becoming a vampire, your old self dies in a sad and painful way, but then you come out the other side with immortality, super strength and a taste for human blood. At least that's how it was for me. At any rate, it's complicated.

If you can't speak English, take a course at Syntra! ;-) There is indeed that taste for blood. I would do anything to protect my children. I would push my wife under a bus if necessary (there are also those moments... no... never mind... that happened before I even thought about it). I may give my children under their feet, but woe betide if anyone else dares to give my child under his feet. I'm probably worse at that than the average parent. People would be quite scared of me. So it's also fantastic, those two daughters. They gave me back the first 5 years of my life, 5 years that were lost for many reasons. My father left us when I was 5 years old, so the pressure I put on myself during those first years was enormous. I am happy that the oldest is now 7 years old, which means that I have not repeated history or at least that I have already done better. You can look through the eyes of your children again. You can be crazy again in an indoor playground. If you go to an indoor playground without children and let yourself go, you will be investigated in no time. With children you can depend on the child again. Suddenly you can go on bouncy castles and trampolines again, you can dress up (I'll spare you the photos), you can paint, you can do crafts, ... It's like pancakes with children, the first one always fails. In our case, they both succeeded, and the first person who says one failed, I shoot him in the neck and bash his skull in until he bleeds. But still, the youngest is a very special one. The pie chart is most suitable for the youngest. You would sometimes strangle them, that little one, you just have to disappear from the building for a while to calm down. But at the same time she is so fantastic, I would push my wife and if necessary the whole world under a bus. I can write a separate blog post about the youngest. And now they are becoming more assertive, they act as if they could already live alone. And soon they will think we are old and boring. Bring it on, I would say. It's a fantastic ride. As a human being, I often have the following feeling towards my parents, towards life. Thx to Ricky Montgomery for expressing my feelings so well. That's pretty much it. One day you decide to make a person. It's extremely selfish on one level, but it's certainly how things go. And I would kill the whole world for my daughters. Honestly, between us, even without my children I would easily wipe out a large part of the world. But that is material for another blog post. To end, a photo to show how happy my wife and I were when we just had our first daughter. My wife doesn't like me showing that photo, but then again, I'm a bit of a jerk. I got that from my youngest daughter. “Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry