Francis Coucke -Double inguinal hernia

And so there we were, me and my 1000 personalities, leg in a cast, 6 months of rehabilitation and the question whether it was the hydrocortisone that had caused the Achilles tendon rupture. Doctors and specialists agreed, it was the hydrocortisone. However, when I asked a little more about the difference between cortisone and cortisol, most people were no longer able to answer. Usually for every gram of cortisone you live 5 minutes less. Yeah, whatever, you bunch of retarded monkeys, I couldn't live without hydrocortisone anyway. Better to live 10 years less than survive continuously. Although, I had to learn the hard way that after 10 years of surviving, living is a lot harder. All your friends are gone, your former friends live in a different world, family has to adjust their image, is your work what you want, all those questions suddenly. It's like those child soldiers in Africa, you can't just let them play a game of football after they have seen and done the most terrible things. So in plaster. And sitting at home for 6 to 8 weeks, going crazy, having an argument with your wife, your relationship becoming completely strained, slamming doors, breaking something, throwing away my crutches ;-) ... What an incredibly pleasant time, you have no idea. It makes a person completely happy. Snowboarding holiday with my daughter alone also fell into the water, which hurt the most. The mountains are my salvation, my breath, my oxygen, my soul. After the cast, I first started working part-time again (the work insurance did not understand why ?????#####@@@!!!!!????). Part-time because I had two children, had to go to the University Hospital in Ghent 3 times a week and of course still had to take hydrocortisone for fun ;-). But I did it and luckily. Go to work in the morning and go to the physiotherapist in the afternoon. That way it was still somewhat doable. So rehabilitation, three times a week to the University Hospital in Ghent where they took very good care of me. At first it's fun, a little massage, some pulling and pushing... but little by little it becomes exercises, exercises and exercises. After 6 months I was allowed to walk again, but mentally it was no fun. The fear of tearing an Achilles tendon again was very great. Normally I don't think about things like that for so long, but 6 months of suffering had loosened something up. For now I would stick to some walking, swimming, cycling, etc. Life went on, every 6 months to Francis Coucke, who now every time called me (and still calls me) the guy from Ghent with the Achilles tendon ;-). I had sent him a few angry emails after my rupture, mainly because every doctor in a 5 km radius was loudly shouting that hydrocortisone was life-threatening, just like Francis Coucke. Gang of retarded specialists. I still don't know, only time will tell. The past has shown that 90% of what we think we know usually turns out to be untrue in the future. Life went on, hydrocortisone, DHEA, dozens of nutritional supplements and eventually also testosterone. I can always have a cocktail. I did feel better, physically, but mentally it's something completely different. Many people who survive for days and days in the mountains, near death, die the moment they are rescued. That's how it feels to me sometimes. After 15 years, and actually a little after 39 years, I have to learn to live, something a thousand times more difficult than surviving. Survival was easy. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep, sick, sick, sick, work, sleep, work, sleep, have some energy left to enjoy myself, work, sleep, play football, broken, broken, broken, ... ;-) See me sitting here in the Clouds in my coffee, fairly relaxed, almost 40. I like to be around people, but I don't like to be with people. I can always get away from people, but with people it is a bit more difficult. The Christmas holidays were approaching, a new opportunity to go snowboarding alone with my eldest daughter, quite a task for an autistic person. Fortunately, Aunt Els was already in the Swiss Alps to help. 5 weeks before we were to leave, I felt it so urgently in my right testicle. A strange feeling, not normal, as if you got a football stuck in your nuts in the pit of the winer (trust me I know the feeling). Immediately there was fear about cancer, and I went to the doctor fairly quickly. Blow on your fist and boom, two bumps on the left and right above my groin area. Didn't look good. Probably inguinal hernia. The doctor confirmed an ultrasound... double inguinal hernia. GODDAMNONDEDJU say. Was that because of the testosterone that I had been taking for more than six months? Later I learned that it was probably due to our move, followed by a dry cough. Coughing at night for 2 weeks until my throat and lungs almost exploded. Went to the specialist on Friday, he was already available on Monday. Long live medicine (sometimes I mean it too). A snowboarding holiday was probably not possible for the second year in a row, but there was a chance according to the specialist. By the way, back to the whole sermon about hydrocortisone, come on, cortisone, because they don't know the difference. I arrive there on Monday morning, fasting, at 8 am, at the hospital. "Yes, sir, you are scheduled tonight at 5 p.m.". WHAT? No way. I then literally said: "Sorry, but that won't work, I'm incredibly scared of an operation, and if you don't come get me until 5 p.m., then I'll be home now. By the way, I want to see the anesthesiologist beforehand." An hour later I was taken to the operating table. It was complete anesthesia this time. The Achilles tendon was with epidural, but this is what they said, this was better under general anesthesia. To be honest, I didn't really feel like seeing my insides either. The anesthetist assured me that she would keep a close eye on me. And that was the case. She literally told me afterwards that she had given me the maximum amount of drugs allowed. It was peaceful. Back then. A double inguinal hernia, damn it, it's not a 6-month rehabilitation, but God Almighty, the 3 weeks after the operation are nothing to laugh about. No sir, not something to laugh at. Every movement you make hurts, and the longer you sit still, the more painful it becomes. It's more like a toothache. And people, people, the view, everything turns blue, everything, your dick, your balls, you better shit your pants. Really, it's even better to shit your pants than the double inguinal hernia operation 3 weeks after surgery. If I had photos, I would share some. Just use your imagination or google images. In the meantime, you also need to take care of those two cuts. In such an inguinal hernia, threads are either digested or expelled from your body. So I'm rejected, what did you think? Everything is rejected by me. So every week it was also inflamed and thread came out. Oh the fun. The snowboard trip! The snowboard trip. I go to the surgeon a week before the Christmas holidays, he says, you can go, after 3 weeks everything is stuck, you can do whatever you want, you can't break it anymore, but, snowboarding, it will probably hurt way too much. Oh yeaahhhh, so I went to the mountains, but I was going crazy being in the mountains and not being able to snowboard. Pure torture for me. I had looked up that top athletes return to training after 3 weeks. So I had high hopes for it. However, not at home. Everything, including everything near that groin, was still pulling in all directions. I really felt like everything could just tear again. The first time my wife and I went to bed after that operation, the fear was enormous. I thought, if that surgeon cut a few wrong channels, then this will soon be a painful thing. Maybe the whole thing will explode. All went well. ;-) I went snowboarding, it was a beautiful week, sun, sun, sun, and always above the clouds, an incredible amount of rainbows, fantastic moments with my daughter Romée and all thanks to Aunt Els! Snowboarding was probably the best thing there was for my groin. Exercise was very important in order not to have chronic pain later. In the evening it was everywhere, but all in all I was perhaps stronger than top athletes. Perhaps the most beautiful trip of my life (sorry honey ;-) ), especially because I hadn't been able to go the year before and wasn't sure this year. I'm not a beginner either, with 20 years of snowboarding experience, so I must have hardly fallen. Falling was going to hurt, that's for sure. And in the meantime I continued to take hydrocortisone, sometimes up to 50 mg per day when I snowboarded for 6 hours. And DHEA, and testosterone. I still felt pretty good, but that was all about to change a bit. Strangely enough, physically it always got better and better, but mentally it always got worse and worse. The question is also whether hydrocortisone, DHEA and testosterone have something to do with it. Hormonal... I don't think they understand much about it yet, holistically speaking, what the influence is in the long term, on a physical and psychological level. Depression is no laughing matter and one was coming little by little, even though I didn't realize it yet. So a double inguinal hernia. The scars are still clearly visible from my Achilles tendon and double inguinal hernia. However, the mental scars are much bigger, but invisible. And so the story goes on. Until the next one.

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. If you feel ashamed of them, you're letting society destroy your reality. ― Jim Morrison

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkKRU1ajKFA&w=560&h=315] Update: I still have to add something to this. If you have an accident at work, you should visit a doctor every few months to see how things are going. Insurance won't pay for someone who is okay, so they want a doctor as quickly as possible who says everything is okay. If you don't agree, you'll have to fight an army of lawyers. In any case, the first thing that doctor said was that they had to lock up people like Coucke. They had to give people like that doctor there in St Lucas who worked for the insurance company a shot in the neck. I'll find his name and post it here, you fucking airhead. If you have to work for insurance as a doctor, then I don't think you should have too much to offer.  Oh well, that's it, what the hell was that doctor's name again, and I've also forgotten the name of the insurance company. I still think so.