Vacantly

I stare blankly into space. What am I going to learn from this... Focusing on all the good things in my life. Being grateful for all the good things in my life. Become More fluid. Become more beautiful. Opening my sacred heart to the world. Time and time again. More and more. Despite the pain. Yes it hurts. Pointless pain. I forgive myself for forgetting that I am allowed to rest. I forgive myself for forgetting that I can trust. I forgive myself for forgetting that I have a choice. I pray to only choose things that nourish me. I pray to only choose a partner who also chooses me. I pray for the courage and the support and the strength to only allow people into my life who nourish me. And I pray that I might meet someone who would like to work on a mission** with me. A mission to create a beautiful home. A mission to help people. A mission to make the world a beautiful place. A mission to expand love. A mission to constantly expand love. However, I still stare blankly into space. So broken. Unreal. Dehumanized. Opening your heart to someone like that only to get a knife in it. I forgive myself. The days are moving slowly. Aho.