Absent fathers, lost sons

I remember something from last year, when you helped me travel for a month. We were with Serge and Serge suddenly talked about how "it is better to teach someone to fish than to buy him fish". You laughed and said that was indeed very right to say. But have you done that with your daughter and son?

The worst thing you can do to your children is not to acknowledge them. Corner Stone, by Bob Marley, is also about that. His father didn't acknowledge him either. Bob Marley did acknowledge his own children, even though he had 11 by 7 different women. I never wanted your money, all my life I just wanted your recognition. I realize that Romée and Odile need me to make them strong. You will never realize that the most important thing in your life was actually your children. And I understand that you needed your freedom a long time ago, but when it was 'Woodstock' in Puimichel, you could have taken some of your responsibility again.

All those times I came to Puimichel were not for money, but because I loved you. I was a complete fool to put so much energy into you. When I was there for six months with Elke, it was not Elke and I who destroyed it. You're the one who couldn't handle all the guilt. You blame your mother so much but you do the same to your own children. How do you sleep at night? You've already helped Seb for thousands and thousands of euros, but I should feel guilty because you helped your own son? It's never been about money. Arlette has become a pathetic version of herself. She was a top woman, and she could have grown old with dignity. You have grown old with dignity, but you still refuse to acknowledge your own children. You tell yourself that Trui was the one who wanted children. That is not taking your own responsibility. You have made the most beautiful telescopes in the world, the best optics in the world, but you deny your own blood. Every parent I know helps his or her children, emotionally, financially. Every parent I know teaches their children to fish.

You surround yourself with people who need you to make you feel better. You could help your son and daughter to have a better life, but then you might have to see that they are happier than you. Arlette once told me:"Dany unhappy, everyone unhappy, Dany happy, everyone screwed.". I hope I never become like that. You can be angry all you want, but deep down you know I'm right and you know what you should actually do. Even with my godmother Betty, you make me feel guilty. Who's fault do you think it is that I haven't seen my godmother Betty anymore? Could it have something to do with you leaving when I was five? It was your responsibility. Your children are your responsibility. And if you had kept in touch, if you had made the effort, I would have always been able to see my godmother Betty.

It's enough Dany. I sold my soul for those 80,000 euros. Romée and Odile are now 9 and 11 years old. They have already cost me much more than 80,000 euros. Every day you can actually decide to do the right thing and every day you decide not to do it. Every night you lie awake about your childhood that was terrible, but every day you decide to do the same to your own children. You could help me save Romée and Odile from that nightmare, but you refuse. You have given up, so everyone should give up. You can spare all my emails and messages, but you and I both know all too well who is cowardly. The only question is whether you will die a coward or whether you will one day stand up and decide to do the right thing. Because that's what Bob Marley did. The right thing. Spiritual. You've been looking at the stars, at the universe, all your life, listening to Bob Marley, spiritual music, and yet you believe that life is one big joke. Maybe it's a big joke, or maybe you want to believe it to feel less guilty. In any case, your guilt will only disappear by doing the right thing. I don't think it's ever too late, but I don't believe in you anymore either. I have come to Puimichel dozens of times, always with my heart in the right place, and yet you manage to make me feel bad every time. Is it so silly to dream of a good laptop and a beautiful guitar? I don't want your money. I've been dreaming about your records for twenty years. Not because they are records, but because they are your records, and because I would really have a piece of you here. I didn't want your 80,000 euros because you let me down. I needed that 80,000 euros because houses cost so much here and because I needed a house for Romée, Odile and me. If Trui could have given me 80,000 euros, I would never have asked you. If I had had them myself, I would never have asked you.

It's you that I miss. Not your money. I'm tired of it. I don't have to anymore. Griet and I could use your help now. If you want to leave everything to Seb, feel free to do whatever you want. For me, only Romée and Odile count, and I hope I have the resources to give them a good future. Not the life you and I had, full of misery. Also beautiful moments, also Woodstock moments, but also a lot of fucking misery. What is 5,000 euros to you if you can give your own son as much happiness for a month as he did last year? Why do I have to keep hearing that afterwards?

You're so frustrated with life, so bitter with your past, that you don't even see the people who really love you. You had your chance to teach me all about optics, but you blew them yourself. I don't have porcelain hands. I have your talent and I have Trui's talent. And I don't have to prove to the whole world like you that I'm fantastic. I know that I have exceptional talents, but I also know that Romée and Odile need me. It's never been about your money for me. Never. It's a shame you don't see that. You're still that little boy who can't get out of his mother's grasp. Actually, you're still not free. And as long as you don't take responsibility, you will never be free. As long as you don't do the right thing, you can't be free. I have been a son to you and a good friend. When are you going to be a father?

https://youtu.be/VP8EVKgIYsg